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What Dawn Has Not Yet Found by `sixhours:iconsixhours:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Erotic > Open




your flesh is ancient
i want to fill it
with vacant stares
and dirty words
i ache to feel your hands
wrap themselves
around my heart
i want your fingers
knotted in my hair
& your mouth to fuse itself
to mine
let our tongues do
what bodies do
find yourself alive,
inside me,
make every syllable
my name,
let my nails leave bloody
perforations
in your skin
every set, a scar
i want to burn in your arms,
fall into your eyes,
break promises
& cast them off like clothing
until there is nothing
but your skin & mine
& these tousled dirty sheets
©2003-2009 `sixhours
:iconsixhours:

Author's Comments

Written March '02

Pardon the bombardment of your watch page with my poetry. ;) (Wink)

Daily Deviation

Given 2003-01-16

What Dawn Has Not Yet Found by sixhours

sixhours wants to show you What Dawn Has Not Yet Found... "break promises / & cast them off like clothing"... read this poem. picked and written by ^keen.
(Selected by ^faithwalker) (Featured by `faithwalker)

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconjesusbite:
!jesusbite Jan 4, 2003, 8:01:28 PM
...wow.

Thats the best thing Ive read all day. And thats all I have to say about that. Sorry.

If you dont mind, Ill be sharing this.
:iconshelly:
~shelly Jan 4, 2003, 8:15:52 PM
don't apologize! b/c this is some good writin'! Here's a kiss for you, my love!

--
:meditation: :blackrose: truth always captures the liars :blackrose: :meditation:
:jarkinajar:
:iconnochoioioice:
~nochoioioice Jan 4, 2003, 9:29:24 PM
What jesusbite said.... this is just soooooo man I don't even know.
+1 fav

--
Oi!
:iconblackhalo:
~blackhalo Jan 4, 2003, 10:47:08 PM
no periods, just commas? i like it.
:iconalcoholic:
!alcoholic Jan 4, 2003, 11:05:58 PM
Ah yes.
I usually leave nice comments but it is 2 am and I am drunk.
I liked this even in my intoxication.
JB sent me so I knew I would not be let down.
The name/syllable part stood out to me.
Etc. etc. nicely done.

--
I. Read.
II. Contemplate.
III. Revolt.
:iconheyjupiter:
~heyjupiter Jan 4, 2003, 11:06:19 PM
This is just so gorgeous. Captures that utter need and desire perfectly.

Awesome work. :) (Smile)

--
..:I've gotta be me - everyone else was already taken:..
[link] - go check out my stuff! :D
:iconrebelchic:
`rebelchic Jan 4, 2003, 11:06:59 PM
Very well presented. I'm also going to agree with ~blackhalo about the punctuation. Nicely done.

--
:shakefist:
:iconjesusbite:
!jesusbite Jan 4, 2003, 11:20:00 PM
Youve been spread around. Like AIDS. Only less.... uh... dangerous.
:iconpantopicon:
`pantopicon Jan 4, 2003, 11:36:20 PM
Powerful movement through -- the structuring really uniquely replicates and calls to a moment of passion -- and I appreciate its lack of sentiment and its focalization in on turning the semantics of romance into the physical. Very well done.

--
I always dream of a pen that would be a syringe.
:icondanstijl12:
~danstijl12 Jan 4, 2003, 11:45:08 PM
i really don't see how this is that interesting - i like the progression from tame to violent to nothing, but none of the images really grab me - this is a thoroughly playedout topic and i think for this to standout the language needs to be really fabulously new and interesting
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